posted
hello there, I'm just here looking for answers and support.
I'm a railfan's g/f. my boyfriend's a huge railfan, and we plan on getting married in the next few years. And he applied for a rail job just a few months ago. They called him back and he is now waiting for his second interview.
With this job, he will be making a lot of money, but he will be on call at all times, and he'd never know when, be it the middle of the day or through the night. He said he isn't sure, but it may also require him to travel.
If there are any girlfriends or wives out there that have a spouse in the R&R, please, what is it like for you? Do you ever get to see eachother? What goes on? Or anybody who works for the R&R with a spouse, same questions.
I'm totally lost with all of this. I'm scared that I'll barely ever see him, and i want to tell him how much i don't want him to work there, but at the same time, i hope so much he gets this job because it would make him so happy, and i want more than anything for him to be happy because when he is, I am. But i'm scared about this.
He's also said that for the first 10 years he'd be doing local work (we hope to be living in fairport, NY), but after that they may require more of him. Does that sound right? someone also told me for the first year they're usually based out of a town they signed for...
Please, any help would be greatly appreciated. I love this man more than anything, and I just want us to both be happy.
thank you so much
Posts: 1 | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
I will leave the details to someone else, but the first thing to remember is that no job is perfect. the positives and negatives may be different from job to job, but there are always going to be some of both, Some may have more negatives than others, but all will have some, and sometimes they are not obvious to begin with. A lot depends upon your attitude, what you dwell on and how you deal with it. I have seen people walk off from jobs for reasons I could not even comprehend, and otheres like jobs I would have only if the choice was financial disaster.
Posts: 2810 | From: Olive Branch MS | Registered: Nov 2002
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posted
I can't speak for RR employment, as I've never been so involved. But having been married for almost 24 years to the same girl, I can offer some general thoughts that may be relevant.
Begin Dear Abby Mode:
My wife and I work dramatically different schedules. I work afternoons and evenings, never on the same schedule from week to week. She is a musician who also has a day job. Her musical jobs can also vary from week to week, and she works early mornings on her day job. So I'm usually going to bed about three hours before she gets up. Sometimes we go several days in a row seeing each other only as a lump in the bed.
We make it work because we both have an independent streak that allows us to be comfortable when we need to be apart. Then when we are together we appreciate the time even more. Its not always easy. Sometimes I get annoyed when my wife goes for long periods without taking a full day off, and she gets annoyed when I stay up too late typing on the Railforum. But we both know that we're hopelessly devoted to each other, so those annoyances are easier to bear.
If you lack a similar sense of independence, you may have trouble like my sister had with her first husband. He traveled on business a lot. When he was away she compensated by shopping and racking up credit card bills. They attepmted, each in their own way, to tighten the reins on each other and they ended up choking their relationship to death.
Moral: if you want a relationship to succeed, give each other enough freedom to pursue your respective goals. You don't want to stifle the very things about each other that drew you together in the first place.
End Dear Abby Mode.
As a PS, you might ask your boyfriend to look into working for Amtrak instead of a freight railroad. I don't know for sure, but I believe Amtrak conductors and engineers have more predictable work schedules.
Posts: 2649 | From: California's Monterey Peninsula | Registered: Dec 2000
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