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[QUOTE]Originally posted by smitty195: [QB] Wow, thank you everyone for the very, very kind and warm responses. I am so accustomed to being in areas where I know what I'm doing and feel "safe", but all of a sudden I have found myself in very foreign territory (or to steal a railroad term, "Dark Territory") where I am like a fish out of water. Dealing with two deaths at the same time is so....different? Not the right word. But it's a difficult balancing act that I'm trying to maintain, while at the same time, doing the very best I can for my parents which, at times, can be incredibly difficult. I had to get a little medical help from my doc so that I can not only sleep, but fall asleep, stay asleep, and then not have anxiety with my heart racing and adrenaline flowing almost all day long. It's a teeny-tiny pill called Lorazepam, and that has helped me out greatly. I have no intentions on taking it forever----but just for a few weeks or less should be okay I'm told (they are only 1mg tablets---very small. And the cost was 89 cents! I can't believe Anthem Blue Cross won't just "eat" the 89 cents, but they won't). Vicki: Okay, great! You were a nurse (which I did not know) so I am positive that you have mental images that you can not erase. I don't know what field you worked in, but back when I was working on a paramedic unit, we would bring in some people that were just beyond injured and in pain. In my personal opinion, there are two types of cases that a public safety employee can never, ever un-see: 1) Anything bad involving small kids or babies, and 2) severe burns. If some folks here have never had exposure to either one of those, you are lucky! I would love to blurt out some things but I can't and I won't---it would just be wrong I think. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that I can't say things that I used to say when I was working, because we would find SOMETHING......ANYTHING to laugh at when we were at the worst possible scenes we could imagine. If we stayed serious, we would have been eaten alive by mental trauma or whatever the term is. You can't imagine what it's like having the suspect in the back seat after he or she just did something that you saw and that you know will haunt you for life. I sometimes wonder how I didn't just kill them on the spot. Nobody would have blamed me. But I would, of course, be held to answer for murder and so we had to tell ourselves it's not worth it and to just process him and then get him into jail where his new "friends" can do whatever they want to him. Ugh...what am I rambling about?? I find myself doing this lately and I have to stop. But thank you, Vicki, for letting me know about your upcoming #14 trip! May 27th....that's a Friday. Would you be departing LAUPT on Thursday the 26th and arriving the evening of the 27th? Or departing LAUPT on the 27th and arriving SEA on the 28th? That would be very cool if I could make that. I'm sorta doubting it right now as I look at my calendar, but who knows? Maybe I can pull it off! I need to get back to my new part-time job so that I can make some extra vacation money! (I drive for Uber---just started. So far, it's a fun little job. I've met some interesting people along the way. And to be an Uber driver, you must maintain a 4.6 "star" rating from the passengers or Uber will delete you from their system. But Uber does not tell the passengers this. They do not know that a 4.6 is a "FAIL" for a driver. So far, I've maintained 100% 5 star votes---whew! But I do everything I can to earn that score. One of my little secrets is that my rear seats both have 8 inch HDTV screens built into the back of the front headrests. I keep railroad videos playing on there. :) Right now I have a 2 hour Tehachapi video that plays, and people seem to like that because it's something different. I also offer them an Apple "lightning" cable which is connected to my SUVs auxiliary input, so that they can charge their IOS device if they'd like to, and/or play their own music list through my car's stereo system. It's little things like that where I hope to maintain my five star rating so that I can remain in the system. Oh, and the driver's ("Partner's") app also allows me to evaluate them using the same five star system at the end of the trip. If the passenger gets enough low ratings, they can be deleted from the system as well. Well, enough about Uber. Just wanted to catch up a bit on things I'm doing lately, besides juggling my schedule to meet my parent's almost daily "emergencies". I also still have my one-man Apple Computer business, which does fairly well considering I don't do any advertising----strictly word of mouth. I think I'm going to attempt a nap on this gorgeous Saturday afternoon. I am hoping to catch-up on some much-needed sleep. And again I really want to thank everyone for their really kind and warm comments. You folks are so incredibly kind---thank you. It has been very helpful to me to write some things down like this. I don't know why. But for some reason, my ramblings have helped me. I just hope I have not irritated everyone for being a bit off-topic here. I'm hoping it's okay, considering the circumstances. And for what it's worth in case anyone is interested, my friend Robin died of Sepsis. It was almost instant. She retired from my PD as a 911 dispatcher a few years ago. Such a nice person. She left behind 4 adult sons, a husband (San Jose Police Lieutenant), and I think 3 grandchildren. It still has not fully sunk-in that she is gone. I trained her in 911 dispatching. Well, actually, I un-trained her, and then trained her again. She came to use from Santa Cruz County 911, and they do things much differently in that county than we do. So I had to un-do all of the things that were once right but were now wrong, and was very hard to do. But she stuck with it and became a great dispatcher. Now it's just random tears and random memories. Thanks for listening. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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